Well it is coming to the end of Day 4 and I have to say this has been the hardest day so far. It has, however been quite interesting to me and I've learnt a bit more about my eating today.

Basically, I have been bored today. It has been raining hard most of the day (I don't know why this makes a difference, but it does) and I have felt really down.

I took my little doggie for walk earlier as he was bored too (evident by him eying up my shoes and licking his lips) and as I was trudging through the rain I tried to think why I was feeling so crap. I realised that normally on a day like this I would buy a big pile of tut (crisps, choccy, cakes etc) and some magazines and my day would be spent in bed or on the sofa eating as there was nothing else to do. I felt down because I couldn't do this.

I came home and my other half informed me that his mates were coming round for a chinese tonight which made me angry (not at all justified - they have to eat, I just wanted to shout at him!).

Anyway, I have had my two remaining shakes in one just now and I have come up here to pour my heart out. I am feeling a lot better.

I realise from my moping earlier that the reason I have felt so down is because I feel like I have missed out today. Its like when you give up smoking (I have tried and failed at this several times), you see people smoking and think 'lucky them'. You feel sorry for yourself because you can't do it as well.

But, as my partner tried to helpfully point out earlier I have had my 'treats' already for the next year (probably the next ten years to be honest) so I shouldn't feel like I have missed out.

In the spirit of hereigoagain, this is a list of things I would have eaten today (but didn't):

1 x giant bar of Galaxy
4 x Packets of Walkers French Fries or Monster Munch
2/3rds of a french stick with lots of butter and several ozs of Seriously Strong Cheddar
Either a pack of cakes or some more chocolate
A very large helping of chinese followed by chocolate ice-cream
Bowl of cereal before bed

I have to say that I wouldn't eat like this every day, but at least once a week (I recognised some time ago that I am a binge eater). Add in the odd lunch out at work and a few choccy bars and sandwiches for my lunches during the rest of the week and you get to be nearly 26 stone!

So, to summarise - I am glad I have got through my fourth day but I have found it hard and I hope the next 3 days before I weigh-in are happier ones.

Bye to all :-)